One year ago today I lost my soul mate, my husband, my baby daddy, my best friend.
One year ago today I woke up in bed with him for the last time. I woke up scared he wasn’t breathing.
One year ago today I told him that the Hospice was here to transport him. OK he said. It was the last time he walked and spoke.
One year ago today I watched him being taken from our home. Down the hall, down the walk and into the vehicle. He would not return.
One year ago today I packed a bag for him for the last time. I grabbed everything, a toothbrush, change of clothes, blanket, family photos, his iPad for checking sports. Why? Hope I guess.
One year ago today I drove myself to the Hospice. I did it on my own. It was something I felt I needed to do. I got him settled, unpacked his things, signed the papers.
One year ago today the Nurse told me that he was “showing signs”. That it would be a matter of days now. But right then, I knew he wouldn’t make the night.
One year ago today I messaged family and close friends to come. If they wanted to see him it needed to be today.
One year ago today I had to tell my daughter that her Daddy was not going to be coming home. That he would be leaving us very soon. Heartbreak.
One year ago today I stayed vigilant at his bedside/laying with him; holding his hand, talking to him. I told him it was OK, as I watched him in what was certain pain.
One year ago today, along with his family and my mother; I held his hand and watched him take his last breath. (7:35pm) You cannot imagine.
One year ago today next to him, I held my daughter tight as she sobbed uncontrollably. Repeating over and over “I want Daddy”.
One year ago today that room was full of sorrow but love as family and friends gathered around him/us and cried.
One year ago today before they took him away, I removed his wedding band and kissed him for the last time. His hands were beyond cold, his body so still.
One year ago today he found peace from Cancer. No longer in pain.
One year ago today a huge piece of me was lost forever. XOX
Dan's Life 
This is so beautifully written, Renee. We have been thinking of you so much. We love you Renee and Audrey. And Dan, too. Xoxo
Renee, your words mean so much to so many people. It made me feel like I was there when he took his last breath. Dan was a very courageous person and so are you. Thoughts are with you and Audrey. Lots of love to you both.
Renee,Really good to see you the other day.Thank you for sharing your memories of Dan,
In Dan’s last few months you accumulated many wonderful memories; I do hope that these memories will be Audrey’s and yours to remember forever. I know you are a very strong person and somehow that doesn’t take your pain away but I’m sure that you will remain strong and positive for your daughter. We think of you often and we send our love.
I read this today and as a parent, and you know, there is nothing you would not do to take away the pain your child is suffering, no matter at what point in their life. I wish I could do that for you. Hold on to all the great memories I know you had as a family. We miss him too.
Although I didn’t know you very much . I can remember the time you had just got back from your honeymoon and you were at great grandma and grandpa house and we all say around the the dinner table laughing and and have so much fun and then we cleared the table and that’s when all the fun started we got out the box a monploy and I whipped everybody (butt ) haha just kidding please do my a favor say I to ever for me and tell I miss the very much . Oh yeah I will celebrate my birthday with you in mind because it just so happens that we share the same birthday . I know you are not in pain anymore and you are looking down on everyone watching and make sure everything is ok . Miss you cousin until we meets again
Rest easy
Much love
Chelsea apps 07-05-95
(birthday buddy)