Nausea has settled for the moment, so have some time get this in.

Had chemo this morning and unlike past chemo, I didn’t feel the nausea until day 3. Today it came on the car ride home. Took the past couple of hours to rest and had some crackers. With this little nausea break I figured I could type a little. My friend Jason is here from Scotland and he was KIND enough to accompany me this morning. I think it was so he could lose HARD in backgammon while I received my cancer cocktail. Made for a little more enjoyable situation! 🙂  (nausea side note – In addition to medication, I use those sea bands and they seem to really help me)

This past week has been tough. Starting getting more constant pain in the abdomen which is then a 24/7 reminder that cancer is invading. Not only that, but when you are on chemo, the last thing you want to feel is something growing or getting worse. It should be getting smaller or staying the same no??? I saw my Oncologist yesterday and while my most of my blood work is excellent, my liver enzymes are high. They weren’t crazy high, so he didn’t have a problem in proceeding with Chemo though. Additionally, the Raltitrexed drug can cause inflammation in the liver leading to a higher enzyme reading. So, I hold on hope that it is the Chemo causing the enzymes and added pain.

He did prescribe me some low dose morphine. I don’t really want to take it, but it may take away the discomfort. Which will then take away the this horrible distraction in my gut. I can tell you it was the worst mood I have been in so far, I was depressed and struggled to find anything happy or something that could distract me. Nothing worked. I was in a dark place and tears would flow at any point. I hated it, I hated feeling like the cancer was winning both physically and mentally. When your life is shortened, the last thing you want to do is waste it feeling the way I did. This WILL NOT be a common feeling for me. I can’t let it. I did go see my therapist and she helped me with some breathing techniques for mindfull meditation. It is training your mind to pull back from those dark places. But I am feeling better today despite the Chemo. Maybe because we are killing some cancer today…

I have this round and one more to go before I get my next CT scan scheduled for January 20th. No question this causes anxiety. Ask any cancer patient. On the bright side, I have seven days of Chemo fog to go…but should be out of it just in time to spend Christmas with mine and Renee’s family. Then hopefully head out to Vernon with my sister and her family for New Years.

Hope everyone is getting their shopping done! I was able to get a bit done, but it was hard when you aren’t feeling very festive. Fortunately, Renee is a creative and shopping Queen! And I also had my friend Shirine pick some things up for me. Thanks Mama!

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  (I’ll say it now in case I don’t get back on the blog before Christmas)

Dan