Nausea has settled for the moment, so have some time get this in.

Had chemo this morning and unlike past chemo, I didn’t feel the nausea until day 3. Today it came on the car ride home. Took the past couple of hours to rest and had some crackers. With this little nausea break I figured I could type a little. My friend Jason is here from Scotland and he was KIND enough to accompany me this morning. I think it was so he could lose HARD in backgammon while I received my cancer cocktail. Made for a little more enjoyable situation! 🙂  (nausea side note – In addition to medication, I use those sea bands and they seem to really help me)

This past week has been tough. Starting getting more constant pain in the abdomen which is then a 24/7 reminder that cancer is invading. Not only that, but when you are on chemo, the last thing you want to feel is something growing or getting worse. It should be getting smaller or staying the same no??? I saw my Oncologist yesterday and while my most of my blood work is excellent, my liver enzymes are high. They weren’t crazy high, so he didn’t have a problem in proceeding with Chemo though. Additionally, the Raltitrexed drug can cause inflammation in the liver leading to a higher enzyme reading. So, I hold on hope that it is the Chemo causing the enzymes and added pain.

He did prescribe me some low dose morphine. I don’t really want to take it, but it may take away the discomfort. Which will then take away the this horrible distraction in my gut. I can tell you it was the worst mood I have been in so far, I was depressed and struggled to find anything happy or something that could distract me. Nothing worked. I was in a dark place and tears would flow at any point. I hated it, I hated feeling like the cancer was winning both physically and mentally. When your life is shortened, the last thing you want to do is waste it feeling the way I did. This WILL NOT be a common feeling for me. I can’t let it. I did go see my therapist and she helped me with some breathing techniques for mindfull meditation. It is training your mind to pull back from those dark places. But I am feeling better today despite the Chemo. Maybe because we are killing some cancer today…

I have this round and one more to go before I get my next CT scan scheduled for January 20th. No question this causes anxiety. Ask any cancer patient. On the bright side, I have seven days of Chemo fog to go…but should be out of it just in time to spend Christmas with mine and Renee’s family. Then hopefully head out to Vernon with my sister and her family for New Years.

Hope everyone is getting their shopping done! I was able to get a bit done, but it was hard when you aren’t feeling very festive. Fortunately, Renee is a creative and shopping Queen! And I also had my friend Shirine pick some things up for me. Thanks Mama!

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  (I’ll say it now in case I don’t get back on the blog before Christmas)

Dan

This one was definitely worse than last. The neuropathy (The cold sensation in the hands) initially wasn’t as bad as last time, but I also was more aware of it and with this crappy weather I didn’t test it. What I did get was a chest cold. Which only delayed the fog and the elation of being over chemo.

Also had to ride out the constipation train too. I know lovely eh? But I am pretty much sharing everything in here. The anti-nauseant drugs I take, (Emend, Stemetil, Decadron, Zofran) are brutal for that. Side note – this Emend is 3 capsules for a cost of $150. Most is covered but this one is 50%. But 3 pills for $150!! Crazy. Anyway, these all cause the back log so to speak. So I had to call the Oncology clinic to find out what to do. It now becomes chemical compounding. Take this drug, it does this, oops now you have to take more drugs to counter the side effects of these drugs….and so on. Had to take Lactolose which I find out after can cause severe abdominal cramps. Let’s just say between the cold and this, it was a worse round than the first one.

I am currently on day 13 post 2nd round chemo. Feeling pretty good. Still get pain in and around the liver. Some days more noticeable than others. I have to focus that it is pain from the cancer dying and not growing, but it is tough because its a reminder. When I feel good physically, I feel good mentally. That is nothing new for anyone, but not having the pain combined with a good distraction I get to feel normal for periods of time. These are my mini vacations.

I also have a tough time multitasking. I find that if I am doing something I need to be just doing that. Otherwise focus is an issue. I get stressed if there are too many things to deal with so I try not to schedule much or make plans.

This is a ride for sure. What might be front and center today can be on the back burner tomorrow. Different days, different feelings.

Next chemo is Dec 18th @ 8:15am I will start my fasting 48 hours before so nothing but water on the 16th/17th. The good news is that I should be just getting better in time for Christmas. Although I am starting to stress a bit, because technically I only have till the 17th to get all my Christmas shopping done.

Off to take Audrey to see Santa Claus today!